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So we're just about to head home from a trip to the UK to see family and, while we were there, do some theme parks - old and new. This will just be a relatively short summary of all the parks because, basically, I can't be arsed. In our party are me, my wife, and three sons (10, 6, and 3). So without further ado... Blackpool Pleasure Beach I used to live just down the road from here. Well, a few towns down the road, so about six miles. That's just down the road in Aussie terms. I always disliked the park growing up as the general consensus is that it was full of scrotes. My wife however quite enjoyed it and we went regularly, and I grew to quite enjoy it too. We quickly found that prices in the UK have become seriously shitty, especially in comparison to Australia. For a lot of things, just replace the $ sign with the £ sign and you've got UK prices, except with a crap exchange rate. Entry to BPB (or whatever they're calling it now) was in the region of £150 for the day for us all, and the park was only open 10-4. Annoyingly, as well as having bag checks and metal detectors when entering the park, every person has to "check in" to every ride, individually, using the Pleasure Beach app. Lots of people hated this, but we printed the QR codes out and used them. The rides - Icon was my favourite, a launched coaster that lasts a while, does a fair bit, and stays close to the ground. The Big One, the highest in the UK until very recently, is the best way to see the park as it winds over, under, and through a lot of attractions. Infusion is a suspended coaster which is full of elements, unfortunately not as smooth as it once was (my head was getting pinged about like nobody's business). Revolution is Revolution - a loop, which you go through forwards, and then backwards, but with excellent g-forces. I didn't get on Avalanche as I was taking smaller kids on rides, but I recall it as "good". And I daren't ride Steeplechase again as last time my legs were killing me. In terms of old wooden coasters, we did the Blue Flyer with all the kids - out youngest seemed to enjoy it but we're not sure as he didn't want to do any more coasters. Big Dipper was fun but one us aged folk definitely want to hang on for. Nickelodeon Streak - didn't get on that, and same with Grand National. But we've been on them before and know they're good fun, and towards the end EVERYONE makes a beeline for the Grand Nash. The park does have a lot of other rides - it puts a lot of other parks to shame in terms of amount and variety. There's a lot for the kids, and highlights were the carousel (not the huge one) where the attendant was very accommodating to the kids, the SpongeBob bus thing, and the old spaceships and the Eddie Stobart trucks. My wife and eldest son also went on Valhalla and said it was great but lacked the backwards bit which has just been replaced by a turntable, you get better than ever and was a bit overly dark rather than having as many effects as before. The park felt... worn. This was usually our favourite park but there was barely anybody about and most things were a short wait, if that. The park is actually in the middle of a bit of a rubbish housing estate with a road running under it, and the very grey sea just outside and biting winds. Lunch was handled by Burger King (which seemed to pale by comparison to HJs), and for tea we couldn't resist a proper chippy with gravy or curry sauce from a place outside. Blackpool was a bit of a letdown, which is odd as normally we come back and do the park at least twice - this time we only go into the park once, though we do come back to visit relatives and stop by the gift shop (we bought far too much). It's also a shame that Wild Mouse is gone, and the Grand Prix on its way out. Noah's Ark stands over the entrance, and River Caves was closed. We didn't have time to do Alice, and Ghost Train probably would have scared our middle child. In any case, on to... Alton Towers So we decided to get Merlin passes, they're pretty good value. Alton Towers was always a park we never thought much of - the rides seemed short, the place is big, the queues long, and the park just seemed a bit "up themselves". But no, we have the passed and we're determined to do AT twice to get round everything, and we're very glad we did. Hidden in the countryside, AT is both a theme park (with water park, hotel etc) and an old stately home. Since it is set in the grounds of the old home it can be a distance to get from ride to ride, and there's lots of things that you can find and hidden areas. I'm pretty certain we didn't go everywhere in the park on our two visits. Starting off, for both days we went shortly before half term and on a weekday, meaning queues shouldn't be big. And they weren't, with most rides a short wait or a walk-on. Parent swap was used quite often, and we got on just about every coaster on our first day, as well as a few things for the kids. Our second day was just Galactica (which was closed on our first day) and stuff for the kids. So, in any case, coasters first. Wicker Man was the main one I wanted to go on, this being the only coaster there I hadn't done before. Really enjoyed it, some great airtime and it wasn't too short - though wasn't too long either. Smiler was our favourite, for both my wife and I and our 10 year old. As well as all the inversions, it actually managed to space them out so it's not just "element after element after element". Unfortunately the song will haunt your dreams. Galactica is an alright flying coaster, but too short, while Nemesis - or Nemesis Reborn - is probably the most famous coaster in the UK, and a nice tight little SLC famously built under ground level due to local planning laws. I found it alright, but nothing special. Others - Oblivion I didn't go on, but from memory it's "alright", and the same can be said for Rita (though in the rain the launch feels like hail) and Thirteen with its track drop, and that's it. The Mine Train though was good fun, a powered family-friendly coaster which did a fair number of laps, and intersects the river rapids course - so passengers of both rides would wave at each other. In terms of kids stuff, our youngest loves Hey Duggee, so he was well at home in the giant Hey Duggee playpark. There was plenty more there for them, and he seemed to want to just go round the Night Garden boat ride. Our eldest enjoyed the David Walliams bit and our middle the driving school. I'm not sure whether AT is my favourite on the trip or not. Smiler is definitely my favourite coaster (though Wicker Man could be second). Our first day was pretty wet throughout, and our second fortunately a lot nicer. The park, at that time (I remember queues there on previous visits for Air being 45 minutes or more in the pouring rain) was very pleasant, and I'm actually a bit sad we didn't have time to go round the house and gardens much. It was the only park we went back to fir a second day, but also the only park we felt we needed to - it, and all the other parks (apart from BPB) were open 10-5. Forgot to mention, the Rollercoaster Restaurant was pretty good. Food prices were okay and the portions good, but it comes to you on a rollercoaster track which was pretty fun to watch. I will get round to summaries of the other parks soon.