djmcbell

Tell me, oh informed user, how one would travel to your marvellous buses from the resort, given that IT WILL NEVER EXIST?!?

I have very much enjoyed Dreamworld the last few times I've been, much more than Movie World. DW is a lot less crowded and easier to get on rides, even if they've not all been open when we went (the main culprits were Motocoaster and Buzzsaw - never managed to get on that thing). Steel Taipan is a great addition. First time we went though, DW was over far too quickly and we just didn't enjoy it. Glad that it's changed.

Sonic will always be Sega's central IP but they are reviving some older ones at the moment. Shinobi, Streets of Rage, Golden Axe, JSR and Crazy Taxi, among others. Some of those could make interesting attractions.

Forgot to mention, Tomb Blaster at Chessington is probably the best shooter ride we've come across. Seems everything is practical (and not screens), very good theming, and a better queue than Florida's Mummy ride. Much better than JL and even Florida's MiB. In any case... Thorpe Park Behold, mortal, in all its majesty, Hyperia!!! See how big it is! Gasp at how white it is! It's not open yet. We booked our London trip hoping it would be open months ago, before the date was announced, and just missed it by a few days. Doesn't matter much as so far it's only managed being open for a day. But it does mean the park was absolutely dead as everyone was waiting for Hyperia to visit! Also, rain. But one of my lasting images of the park, and the UK as a whole - two lads in their late teens or early 20s, incredibly pasty skin, vaping some pink shit like a chimney, arms outstretched chasing a duck. Seriously, vaping is rife in the UK, especially in the parks, and nobody seems to care. Very common just to be walking along and have someone blow a cloud of strawberry candy floss or whatever in your face, and seeing teenage girls in the old estate throwing used vapes on the ground. In any case, the weather had taken a turn for the worst, which meant on-and-off rain. Nothing too bad. Stealth was our first coaster, a winged coaster which was my favourite of the day. Unlike Mandrill Mayhem this actually had some height to it, and some decent airtime too. AND it lasted longer than 20 seconds. Saw was closed, and Stealth was good - it was my eldest son's favourite. Basically a (much) smaller Kingda Ka, it accelerates through a launch, up a top hat, back down and over a hump. Good fun. Walking Dead is average, a dark coaster, and the main but I need to mention is just how dark and loud the queue line is - in fact, my wife (who has incredibly bad eyesight) couldn't go on it as she'd need her glasses to get through the queue, and they make sure they take everything before the themed bit. Colossus - lots of loops, goes on a bit, feels rough as nails. Nemesis Inferno - pretty forgetful, but had the longest queue (probably about 20 minutes - again, most things were walk-on even without the parent swap). That's pretty much it in terms of coasters. Again, Saw was closed but I remember it being good. There's not much here for kids, but the one they most enjoyed was a little water slide near Stealth. There was the Flying Fish kids coaster but that didn't prove popular with them. This is definitely an "older kids" park. Oh, and the staff at the entrance were like something from the Luftwaffe, shouting at people to have their bags "open and ready for inspection" through megaphones. Not a very appealing start to the day. The weather was against us here, but nowhere near as much as in... Legoland Windsor Which was a complete wash-out. It didn't stop pissing it down all day. We'd been lucky so far, but nope. Four coasters - a brand new racing coaster that goes both forwards and backwards proved a hit with the kids. The tiny dinosaur coaster didn't. The Dragon's Apprentice was a good little coaster, well themed, and the Dragon itself, a bigger coaster, was actually pretty decent. Other stuff - look, it's all very kid-friendly. We tried to get on a ride where you work together to put out "fires" but loading operations, plus only having half the fire engines open, meant we worked out we'd be queueing for probably 45 minutes. Most things were nearly walk-ons, but there were some queues. Also, the Ninjago thing was rubbish. A shooty ride with nothing but screens, and sensors so you had to do ninja movements to "shoot", but the sensors didn't work. I won by doing very bad DJ mixing moves over the sensors, and I'm incredibly bad at those. There's nothing much to say about Legoland. It does have some exclusive Lego, if that's your thing. But other than that, it's a park for little kids. What do you expect? Though we did get some amusing photos of a pigeon wandering the miniature streets of their Miniland, towering above the cars and residents.

I can't quite recall how much it cost but it seemed like a lot, and we ordered online beforehand. My brother-in-law did come with us and it was nearly £200 in total. In any case, moving on to... Chessington This, I thought, was a highlight of the trip, even if none of the coasters were anything special. We'd travelled down towards London for a few days to really make use of the Merlin passes. Upon arriving we headed straight towards Jumanji land, which is pretty much brand new. I'm unsure if they're intending on the plants etc growing to provide more theming but at the moment it seems very "open" and not really dark and mysterious. Mandrill Mayhem, a winged coaster going both forwards and backwards, was pretty average and forgetful, and very short. After this, the wild west area and it's metal wild mouse coaster, Rattlesnake. My wife and eldest hated this as they were both sat in the middle of the seats. I sat at a side and really enjoyed it. In terms of layout and what it does it's pretty average, but it's got some nice little theming. Vampire is a family-friendly SLC which I didn't feel was very family-friendly. It doesn't invert, but was pretty rough and lasted a long time. Exceptional theming though. But I think we all agreed that our favourite of the day was Dragon's Fury, a spinning coaster with a pretty good layout. I normally don't have any interest in spinning coasters but this one is pretty big, goes on for ages, and interacts with other rides. And that's it. That's your lot for roller coasters. There's a fair bit here for kids, including a truck ride that our youngest loved, a little safari jeep (the ride attendants quizzed me on Luna Park Sydney, which I barely remembered but was wearing a LPS t-shirt), and a drop tower through a crocodile's mouth. Again, crowds were practically non-existent and parent swap meant my wife and eldest would wait in line, then I'd go straight on, but we barely had to use even that. I think the only long queue was Dragon's Fury which had closed down due to a fault (we saw the evac) but re-opened, and I figure that was probably about 20 minutes. This is a great little park, and we didn't even do the zoo or Sealife bits. Yes, it only has four coasters, and no, they're not very good. But it does look the job - unlike AT it's not just "countryside" all over the place, and things are very close together - it is amazingly compact. Great for families then, I imagine.

So we're just about to head home from a trip to the UK to see family and, while we were there, do some theme parks - old and new. This will just be a relatively short summary of all the parks because, basically, I can't be arsed. In our party are me, my wife, and three sons (10, 6, and 3). So without further ado... Blackpool Pleasure Beach I used to live just down the road from here. Well, a few towns down the road, so about six miles. That's just down the road in Aussie terms. I always disliked the park growing up as the general consensus is that it was full of scrotes. My wife however quite enjoyed it and we went regularly, and I grew to quite enjoy it too. We quickly found that prices in the UK have become seriously shitty, especially in comparison to Australia. For a lot of things, just replace the $ sign with the £ sign and you've got UK prices, except with a crap exchange rate. Entry to BPB (or whatever they're calling it now) was in the region of £150 for the day for us all, and the park was only open 10-4. Annoyingly, as well as having bag checks and metal detectors when entering the park, every person has to "check in" to every ride, individually, using the Pleasure Beach app. Lots of people hated this, but we printed the QR codes out and used them. The rides - Icon was my favourite, a launched coaster that lasts a while, does a fair bit, and stays close to the ground. The Big One, the highest in the UK until very recently, is the best way to see the park as it winds over, under, and through a lot of attractions. Infusion is a suspended coaster which is full of elements, unfortunately not as smooth as it once was (my head was getting pinged about like nobody's business). Revolution is Revolution - a loop, which you go through forwards, and then backwards, but with excellent g-forces. I didn't get on Avalanche as I was taking smaller kids on rides, but I recall it as "good". And I daren't ride Steeplechase again as last time my legs were killing me. In terms of old wooden coasters, we did the Blue Flyer with all the kids - out youngest seemed to enjoy it but we're not sure as he didn't want to do any more coasters. Big Dipper was fun but one us aged folk definitely want to hang on for. Nickelodeon Streak - didn't get on that, and same with Grand National. But we've been on them before and know they're good fun, and towards the end EVERYONE makes a beeline for the Grand Nash. The park does have a lot of other rides - it puts a lot of other parks to shame in terms of amount and variety. There's a lot for the kids, and highlights were the carousel (not the huge one) where the attendant was very accommodating to the kids, the SpongeBob bus thing, and the old spaceships and the Eddie Stobart trucks. My wife and eldest son also went on Valhalla and said it was great but lacked the backwards bit which has just been replaced by a turntable, you get better than ever and was a bit overly dark rather than having as many effects as before. The park felt... worn. This was usually our favourite park but there was barely anybody about and most things were a short wait, if that. The park is actually in the middle of a bit of a rubbish housing estate with a road running under it, and the very grey sea just outside and biting winds. Lunch was handled by Burger King (which seemed to pale by comparison to HJs), and for tea we couldn't resist a proper chippy with gravy or curry sauce from a place outside. Blackpool was a bit of a letdown, which is odd as normally we come back and do the park at least twice - this time we only go into the park once, though we do come back to visit relatives and stop by the gift shop (we bought far too much). It's also a shame that Wild Mouse is gone, and the Grand Prix on its way out. Noah's Ark stands over the entrance, and River Caves was closed. We didn't have time to do Alice, and Ghost Train probably would have scared our middle child. In any case, on to... Alton Towers So we decided to get Merlin passes, they're pretty good value. Alton Towers was always a park we never thought much of - the rides seemed short, the place is big, the queues long, and the park just seemed a bit "up themselves". But no, we have the passed and we're determined to do AT twice to get round everything, and we're very glad we did. Hidden in the countryside, AT is both a theme park (with water park, hotel etc) and an old stately home. Since it is set in the grounds of the old home it can be a distance to get from ride to ride, and there's lots of things that you can find and hidden areas. I'm pretty certain we didn't go everywhere in the park on our two visits. Starting off, for both days we went shortly before half term and on a weekday, meaning queues shouldn't be big. And they weren't, with most rides a short wait or a walk-on. Parent swap was used quite often, and we got on just about every coaster on our first day, as well as a few things for the kids. Our second day was just Galactica (which was closed on our first day) and stuff for the kids. So, in any case, coasters first. Wicker Man was the main one I wanted to go on, this being the only coaster there I hadn't done before. Really enjoyed it, some great airtime and it wasn't too short - though wasn't too long either. Smiler was our favourite, for both my wife and I and our 10 year old. As well as all the inversions, it actually managed to space them out so it's not just "element after element after element". Unfortunately the song will haunt your dreams. Galactica is an alright flying coaster, but too short, while Nemesis - or Nemesis Reborn - is probably the most famous coaster in the UK, and a nice tight little SLC famously built under ground level due to local planning laws. I found it alright, but nothing special. Others - Oblivion I didn't go on, but from memory it's "alright", and the same can be said for Rita (though in the rain the launch feels like hail) and Thirteen with its track drop, and that's it. The Mine Train though was good fun, a powered family-friendly coaster which did a fair number of laps, and intersects the river rapids course - so passengers of both rides would wave at each other. In terms of kids stuff, our youngest loves Hey Duggee, so he was well at home in the giant Hey Duggee playpark. There was plenty more there for them, and he seemed to want to just go round the Night Garden boat ride. Our eldest enjoyed the David Walliams bit and our middle the driving school. I'm not sure whether AT is my favourite on the trip or not. Smiler is definitely my favourite coaster (though Wicker Man could be second). Our first day was pretty wet throughout, and our second fortunately a lot nicer. The park, at that time (I remember queues there on previous visits for Air being 45 minutes or more in the pouring rain) was very pleasant, and I'm actually a bit sad we didn't have time to go round the house and gardens much. It was the only park we went back to fir a second day, but also the only park we felt we needed to - it, and all the other parks (apart from BPB) were open 10-5. Forgot to mention, the Rollercoaster Restaurant was pretty good. Food prices were okay and the portions good, but it comes to you on a rollercoaster track which was pretty fun to watch. I will get round to summaries of the other parks soon.

The Gold Coast parks are normally pretty full, and seeing growth and investment. I'd say that Australia likes theme parks well enough, but the population can't support a Disney (or indeed a Universal). Compare Disneyland Paris's 2019 attendance (about 9.75 million) to the population of Australia (26 million). And that's Paris, widely regarded as Disney's "black sheep". Movie World got 1.4 million visitors in 2016. Considering the population of Australia, size of the country etc that's not bad. Now if suddenly every third Australian said they'd visit once a year, or multiple times per year, Disney would be here like a shot. But there are lots of other countries who'd say the same. We do know Disney has done their homework - the Sydney project (more of an entertainment district) nearly went through some years back, and apparently they also scouted out Avalon. But ultimately, they did their homework and decided that the numbers didn't quite work out.

I went there (admittedly 10 years ago). It wasn't great then, and could do with a rebrand.

I live just round the corner from Adventure Park (well okay, about a 10 minute drive away) and still the only time I've been was for the Christmas event a few years back. They really do make the park look good.

If only they'd extend the same amount of effort trying to convince the general public to attend.

Aren't practically ALL of Luna Park Melbourne's rides a "ride within a ride"?

You can argue that there is a need for male-only and female-only events and venues. I'm not keen on the idea, but that's the world we live in. Ideally it should all be equal, everyone can go anywhere they like etc. I act no different around women than I do men. And yes, perhaps there shouldn't be female workers at a male-only event. That should have been the park's responsibility to organise. However, none of that excuses the behaviour of anyone who abused or harassed anyone at this - or any - event. So people are a different gender - get over it.

I always though US was "okay". Bear in mind I last went in 2012, before... well, nearly everything in your review. BTTF closing and being replaced by Simpsons was nearly unnoticeable, but Mummy was fantastic. One of my favourites in Florida. RRR is good if you get the right seat - sometimes it was very very shaky with no music. MiB was an alright time-sink. Would like to go again, as it sounds like they've practically redone the park since, but when we went it was a half-day thing, with IoA next door helping fill the remaining time.

Never been to Mythos, but it seems surprising that Lost Continent still exists and hasn't been gobbled up by Harry Potter. Unless they're keeping it to make into a different land later on.

I loved IoA back when I'd visit. It used to be my favourite Florida park and, at the time, my favourite theme park, with my favourite roller coaster being... Duelling Dragons! Which quickly changed to Hulk on our second holiday. We had four holidays there - 2004, 08, 09, and 2012 I think. Each time we'd have the unlimited entry US/IoA/SW/Aquatica/BG tickets. This was obviously before Skull Island, Velocicoaster, and Hagrid. We did catch HP on our last one, which I found okay but very jarring. I grew tired (and a bit sick) of being thrown in front of giant screens at the time so looked to the side to see how the ride worked. I think that was the time when we managed to go on Hulk 19 times in a single day.